Update #1

Guess what?? We're pregnant!!

And, if that weren't enough of a surprise... our baby has a very serious heart defect.

I wrote up the following to send via email as an announcement and I suppose I will paste it here to serve as the first official blog post:

Ezra (5 in May) loves the story My Side of the Mountain, so he decided that this baby should be named Frightful (after the falcoln in the story) Simon Parkinson. We have all quickly fallen into the habit of calling him Frightful. Isaac (3 in March) wanted Volcano Volcano but was bossily overruled. They are sooo excited to have a baby brother and kiss my belly and talk about him constantly.

This pregnancy used up most of my energy this fall, especially since we had such a packed school and work schedule. We wanted the time to process the news and didn't want to answer the question "when is the baby coming?" 100,000 times (at least to Isaac).

We planned on sending out Christmas cards with the news but we were so sick for most of December and January that I couldn't pull that together. And then, over the last month, we have been waiting to find out test results and receive our official diagnosis (which finally came in Monday) as to what is wrong with Frightful's heart.

He has a very, very serious defect called "Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome" (HLHS).

Here is a link about the condition, should you want to do a bit of reading or watch a 1:20 minute video explaining more about it: http://www.childrenshospital.org/conditions-and-treatments/conditions/hypoplastic-left-heart-syndrome

We're still grasping to understand what this means, but what we do understand is that his heart (specifically the left side, which is responsible for getting blood to the rest of the body) is so underdeveloped that he may not survive. Doctors have developed several surgeries that have had increasing rates of success (since the 1980s) to give him a chance.

He'll be in the NICU for a long while (probably through the end of May) and have major heart surgery at day two and at 6mos and 3yrs. He will never have a fully functioning heart and potentially he will have extra complications as he grows, physically and mentally, as the lack of sufficient blood flow to his body could have drastic consequences. They don't really know much as to how successful these surgeries are long term but it seems like they're learning a lot each year and success rates are climbing and climbing.

I will induce at the end of March and the rest of this pregnancy should proceed without foreseeable complicatons. We will probably be delivering at Tacoma General Hospital because apparently their NICU is top notch. Then I know Seattle Children's does all the surgeries but it sounds like for this first one their surgeons will come to Tacoma.

We're doing ok. We're really sad. We're overwhelmed. But I don't think we're despairing or broken by this news. We know this is absolutely in God's Sovereign plan for our lives and we're resting in that. We want this to be a fruitful trial and are praying that God will be glorified in our lives as we walk this long road.

The boys seem to be ok. Ezra really understands what is going on but Isaac only understands that Frightful will be at the hospital for a long time. Ezra has been ministering to me with his understanding of God's sovereignty, especially in his prayers for me. I used to wonder if I was telling him too much as we talked about God's plans vs my plans or if he really understood me, but oh he has just been the sweetest gift to me this week.

We're completely unsure what the next weeks and months and years will look like,  but we have so many appointments with doctors and counsellors and and and to come that we will figure it out. I think Tuesday will hold a lot of answers for us?

I've been able to connect with able few parents who have kids with HLHS as I try to find more information and our beginning conversations have been encouraging. One woman told me that the thing she wished she had know at the beginning was how very different each case is.

Email/FB/blog post doesn't seem like a very personal way to announce any of this news or to talk about it, but right now I just can't always find the words or perhaps emotional strength to tell people in person or on the phone. I want people to know and I definitely don't want to hide out forever, but it has been helpful to keep close to home this month as we have been processing all of this. We really want to keep as much of a normal routine for the boys though and don't want to drop out of our activities yet - at least in part because the distraction is helpful.

People keep offering to help and we appreciate that SO much, but for the next few weeks at least we don't really know what we need yet. We will keep you posted as we find out more. It has been so very sweet to know how many of you are praying for us. Thank you!!